(NEW) Spark: Corruption Chapter One

Yes, the first taste of the new direction for Corruption! I feel good enough about this rough draft to share all 697 words of Chapter 1. I know ultra intense, right? Keep in mind this is the 2nd novel in the Spark series and is not a stand alone but a continuation. Please leave comments and/or +1 my post. Enjoy!

Bang!

Laura bolted upright and clutched her forehead in her hands.  Silent tears rolled down her cheekbones as her eyes adjusted to the dark motel room. Her heavy breathing subsided little by little, but her mind echoed from the gunshot in her nightmare. She ran her hands down her face and rubbed her arms as if cold in the poorly conditioned room.

She closed her eyes and asked the unanswerable. How could you do this to me Magnis? Why would you hurt me so much when all I wanted was to see you again? The painful memories poured past her eyes lids and dripped onto the blanket.

New Corruption!

I'm typing this fast because I'm happy I have an update, so screw grammar!

After almost a year of editing on Spark: Evolution and it being around a year since I could seriously write the 2nd novel in the series, I broke through my roadblock and scrapped the 100 pages I wrote and my outlines. Then, I wrote over 3k words with a fresh plot that I have basically no clue what's going on from page to page. The term is a panster, as opposed to a plotter, is where you write by the seat of your pants and just as I described. I'm having a lot of fun this way and I think the story is a lot better than the original. I'm making Laura the main character indefinitely and I don't know yet if I'll have a second main character point of view or if it will even be Lazarus. There is a few checkpoints I'm going to hit because I love the outlined ending of the book, but overall Laura is the only one who knows what is going on, and she only wants to tell me a little at a time.

Oh! And this whole burst of being able to write couldn't have come at a better time... it's spring break!

02-27-2012 Update

Just like the last post, just saying that I'm not dead and I have also not abandoned this blog. A very cool update is that I've enrolled in a community college to get my A.F.A and intend to go to a university to get a B.F.A in Creative Writing. I'm successfully taking on enough credits this first term (and in the following terms if I can help it) to probably get it all done in 3 years. So, in short, my writings, and Spark, are on hold for the time being as I'm rather busy with my 16 credits and my job.

I have an awesome friend doing a proofread/edit on Spark: Evolution, so when she is done with that, I'll possibly consider a small publisher and forget about getting an agent. Time will tell, but I still dream of landing an agent and being lucky enough to land a large publisher who will give me an advance for Spark: Evolution  so I can finish my schooling and not have to worry about holding a job at the same time (seriously, I've been living off bare minimum for years, so even a smally-small advance could be enough).

The Magic Button

Just posting to show I haven't abandoned my blog or died.

So, First I give you, my UPDATE:

I've sent out some queries to several literary agents and have yet to receive a partial request. Recently, I changed my query to what I feel is better, sadly, I had to be form rejected by all the agents I've already sent a query to in order to realize I needed a better query (Ok, one sent me two short sentences which I'm very thankful for the personal feedback, except it was a contest like deal with a "follow the rules" get feedback guaranteed).

All I want is a, "Your query kinda blew ass and I was turned off by your lack of personal brown nosing." Or perhaps a, "I'm starving, I know I have 10,000 more queries to get to before I can allow myself to sate my hunger, and you query didn't blow my socks off enough for me to give it a chance." I don't need your positive outlook, I'm confident that even dribble can make it to print if the person is persistent enough (not that you would know that and thus have to be careful not to break the hearts of peoples). I'd honestly feel better about getting the below than a form rejection:

Dear Bruce,

Meh.

Signed,
Agent

Can there be a magical section of a query that shows how tempered I am to feedback in correlation to what the agent has typed?

With the presence of said magic button, after you type out your response to my query letter (no matter the length), look at the color of the button (Seriously, as I imagine this, it will take you no longer to type and view button than sticking that form rejection in the email).

If you see the magic button in the green, you have not been too harsh and there is no risk of me jumping off a bridge.

If you see it is yellow, I can handle it, but might shed a tear and take a few shots of alcohol later in the night. The chance I'll "angry monkey from the closet" point at the cat is 100% (but I do that anyways at all my animals)

If you see red, send me a form rejection! There are 3 possible reasons the button will be red. 1) My query blows so hardcore, that even though it was typed up on a computer, you feel compelled to be disgusted on how many trees it could have wasted if given the chance. 2) You (the agent) are either too much of a meanie to relate to people on a human level and/or have been unreasonably harsh. 3) I'm too sensitive and my name being in the public eye will likely lead to me shaving my head, doing a lot of drugs, buying a PT Cruiser with fake wood paneling, and burning my house down via Easy-Bake oven. (Not me so much, but the probability of someone more emotional than myself doing those things if thrown into the spotlight is very likely).

I notice a lot of agents respond to people on Twitter, some even seem to reside on twitter. Should I query via Twitter so I get a real response?

@Agent Thank you for your time and consideration. In the next 211 tweets is my first 5 pages as requested via agency website (32/243)

Adam's Spark: Evolution Appearance

This is the kind of scene you end up in if you ask to be in my novel, not that Adam doesn't approve of his presence. As usual, not a final draft and may contain rough spots, enjoy the silliness.

Magnis took a big breath of the outside air. “What now?” he asked.

Melanie shielded her eyes from the sun and looked into town, “I’m not a fan of walking. What do you say we find some transportation?”

Magnis put his hand over his eyes and scoped the area. “Is there a place in this dinky town that sells cars?”

A dirty ragged dressed man ran at them from the direction the sun was coming from. “Eve! Eve! Eve it’s you!” Half hunched over, he ran waving his arms above his head right over to Melanie.

“Gah, what the hell are you doing?” The strange man tried to rub his hands on her legs or hug her, what he intended to do was not exactly clear at that point. She backpedaled to avoid his touch.

Spark: Evolution Chapter 5

The chapter's between the 1st and this 5th one are used for giving a stronger impression of who and what my characters are. This will be the first chapter through Laura's eyes, it takes you back to what happened to Magnis at the start of the novel. I wanted to share this chapter next because you'll get a first hand look at what a spark can do as well as meet a character that I absolutely love, Lazarus. (I'll post a picture of what I feel his attire looks like, at the end of this chapter)

As before, this is not a final draft, and may still contain some errors which I hope you can excuse and simply enjoy my work.

Chapter 5

Laura sat up in bed. Was there a crash downstairs just now? She waited and heard only her own breathe accompanied by the dancing gusts of wind in the night. I must have been dreaming. She looked over at the alarm clock and saw it was after two. Five hours before I have to get up. She looked over at her sleeping husband, smiled, yawned, and began to wiggle her head into that perfect spot atop her pillow.

Glass shattered moments later.

She gasped, opening her eyes wide. That sounded very real. Someone’s in our house! She shook Magnis gently and whispered in his ear, “Magnis,” no reaction. She repeated his name a little louder, “Magnis.” He stirred in his sleep and said a random jumble of words. She pushed on him violently. “Magnis wake up,” she pleaded.

Spark: Evolution Chapter 1

Alright, well, time to see if my hard work paid off and I produced a chapter that can grab you the reader's attention. The length of this chapter is a mere 1,276 words, so it won't take you very long. This is not a final draft, so some errors of certain types may still exist, so please excuse any mistakes and enjoy the opening chapter to my novel. Thank you in advance for your time and I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 1

“Beep. Beep. Beep.”

Magnis twitched with annoyance from the first sounds of morning. He opened his eyes to meet the morning sun and felt pain. The sensation radiated from his back and spread throughout the top half of his body. He narrowed his eyes and rotated his jaw licking the inside of his mouth. Blood.

His eyes moved along the ceiling. The ceiling fan should be above me. He spread his fingers apart. Cold and smooth. Not the bed sheets and blanket he fell asleep with.

He lifted his right forearm and dug his elbow into the wood. With his head raised, he watched his feet. I can move my toes, I’m not paralyzed.

 His heartbeat accelerated. Laura would have shut the alarm off long before I would wake up from it.

“Laura!” Magnis yelled. The acoustics of the room muttered a faint echo in response.

He winced and grunted trying to accomplish the simple action of sitting up.

“Lau-ra! Where are you?” He jerked his head from side to side. I hope she is at work safe and sound? Please God just let her be at work.

Magnis' Truck Ride

This is a test to see if an otherwise unexciting and boring scene will still hold the attention of a reader. Please leave comments! This is still somewhat rough, so don't expect expert grammar and the like.


INFO: Magnis is traveling by foot to a town on an information gathering mission for Nowhere by pretending to be a traveler. After being covertly taken out of Nowhere via a 50-gallon drum to a dump, he figures out that he is going to use a fake name while in the town, Sinbad. (Explains why he says his name is different without copy/paste'ing the previous scene with him premeditating things.)

The walk was extremely boring. He muttered some of the songs he knew for a while, but soon exhausted the list of ones he knew the words to. It wasn’t long before he just zoned out and didn’t think of anything except what the road looked like.

Dirt. Rocks. More dirt. Oh hey look… more rocks with a hundred percent chance of dirt.

Unexpectedly Magnis realized headlights appeared behind him. They were already too close for him to duck into the ditch and go unnoticed. No problem, I’ll just act natural, if the wrong sorts of people happen to be in whatever type of vehicle that is, I need to not seem like a threat. If worse case happens, I can fight. With the training Nowhere has given me I’m certain I can fight even a few normal people if I have to. Unless… unless they are the people I’m looking for. In that case it might be very bad… or very good, I’m not sure.

Laura's Spark Unlocking

Here is a excerpt from Spark: Evolution that I just finished doing my recent edits on. The only thing you need to know is a man named Lazarus made Laura kill her husband Magnis before taking her to The Institution.

This is not a final copy and may still contain some technical or grammatical errors, please excuse them and read the story as intended, as entertainment. As always, enjoy!
 

Laura looked tired and unenthusiastic sitting in a cubical with several brain activity sensors attached to her head. One of The Institution’s mentors continued working with her trying their best to help her gain access to the spark and tap into its power. After a week and a day, the disappointment took a toll on both of them.

Her mentor Glen looked rather nerdy Laura thought. It must be the way he styles his short hair and the thick-rimmed glasses he wears. Although his physical build would not be typical for someone with that description. It’s hard for me to believe he is over forty when he doesn’t look any older than me.

“Laura,” he took off his nerdy glasses and tried to ease her mind, “it’s a new day. New chances for possibility. Today can be the day you find your spark, so think positive.”

Laura looked down at the floor, “Glen, how many times do we have to go through sitting here? How does The Institution even know I have the spark?”

Frustrations and Jubilations

I haven't blogged in a long while. It wasn't because I didn't have anything to say, it has been because I am working on "the craft" No, not witchcraft. The finer craft or writing. As I'm sure anyone can plainly see with any post with my actual work on it, it is very rough. Like it in that form or not, I'm learning how to turn it into something much better. One of these days I'm going to polish up Spark of the Dead as practice with my new skills.

The biggest problem I am having right now is fragmented focus. Rather than sitting down and working on Spark: Corruption I have been getting a random assortment of different book ideas. Most fit more in a short story setting vs an actual novel. This time I'm typing up each of my ideas and adding any extra thoughts to them I can at the time.

So with this frustration of trying to hone skills and scattered interest has come also means for excitement. I have been taking a hard look at Spark: Evolution and I found some areas needing improvement. Most of these realizations came with finishing the book Writing The Breakout Novel by Donald Maass. During the whole course of the book nothing is forced on you. There wasn't a time I felt ideas or concepts pushed on me. Instead it showed me how Donald Maass perceives the breakout novel piece by piece from his many years of success.

So, after reading this book and getting a lot of great help from the wonderful peeps at Writer's Digest forums I have been refining myself as a writer. I've been struggling with things, but am very happy with my progress at the same time. I was a fool to think I could naturally have the ability to write a novel and have all the technical aspects down right away. Though, from reading the book stated above, it did make me smile a lot because a very large if not all the things that breakout novels have... I'm proud to say I have already incorporated into my novel. Plot is great; normal character growth is great; pushing them to the limit and taking everything away from them in order to build them and conflict is great; theme may need to be expressed louder; emotions in place to really feel and care for my characters will be under a microscope.

To the last part above, I know I fall in love with my characters each time I read my story as if I don't know what is going on, but I'm sure being the creator has a good amount to do with that. Anyone who has read this so far has been in love with the characters in the ways I hoped they would. What I do need to do is make sure that those tension filled moments and emotion filled moments are indeed just that, tension filled and emotion filled.

Well enough from me for now, wish me luck on my very large task set before me. With my last words of the day, I say that writing a novel was easy, going after agents has been difficult (on hold for now), but nothing could prepare me for the magnitude of difficulty that making my novel technically sound has been with my limited education.

Spark: Corruption - Chapter 8

So I'm introducing a new main character to the world of Spark. Lazarus was easy to introduce because he had already been a part of the story.

Here is a rough draft on my 3rd out of 4 people who will be main characters in Spark: Corruption. I may add more onto the end of the chapter, I'm not sure about it yet. As always and as stated at the start of ALL my posts, I won't have perfect grammar, and any mistakes that I find later I won't come back here to edit.

Comments are highly appreciated. 3,068 words by the way

Chapter 8

The cold snows of winter set in full force on New DC and in a few short months it gave way to the thawing of spring. Spring descended upon land and prepped it for summer. Summer ended later then normal and fall was creeping in with its cooler temperatures and the changing of green to something less lively.

Two guns fire simultaneously; a third gunshot leaves the barrel of one of the first guns.

Deep in a back alley between two local businesses three men lay on the cold and dirty ground in puddles of their own dark crimson blood.

Spark: Corruption - Chaper 1

I'm very proud to post the project I'm working on now. This is the 2nd installment in my Spark series in this trilogy with 6 novels planned.

Things to know before you start reading:
Spark: An evolved part of the brain giving those in possession of a spark to do amazing abilities such as telekinesis and teleportation to name the common ones. The abilities that people can have are limited to not being able to change your body or alter the elements (wind, water, fire, earth) 

The Institution: A school for people with sparks. Its goals are to build its numbers and eradicate all humans without a spark in order to evolve humanity.

Nowhere: An underground facility that houses some of the most elite fighters around. They use engineered enhancements in their body that multiply their already amazing strength and agility. Them and The Institution are at war with each other.

At the time Corruption starts Nowhere has invaded The Institution. (Tail end of the 1st book) The story starts backtracking very early into the battle with the twist being Lazarus as the main character instead of Laura.

I'm sure there will be a lot of questions with a lot of you not reading the previous book. This being the first chapter I'm wondering how well it flows and how well it keeps interest. ALSO! I'm trying to pay attention to tense, so let me know how well I did or if I need to be more observant still. This is a bit longer of a read and I thank anyone who reads it. I hope to get a good amount of feedback as well.

Spark of the Dead (Part 11)

Laura and Hillary ran to the end of the block and saw the barricade that Joe was talking about. The barricade was just the wreckage of a house collapsed into the street and would only slow someone or something down rather than be a true barricade.

The girls ran up to it stopping only momentarily before they scaled over the broken cement and wood.

Laura was the first to get to the top and stopped.

Hillary asked, “Why did you stop, keep going?”

Laura was motionless with her mouth open in disbelief; staring at the spot where there vehicle should have been. Finally she answered the question, “The SUV is gone!”

“What?” Hillary struggled to climb forgetting again that she could have just teleported to the top of the wreckage to look for herself.

She clasped her hands to her mouth gasping. “I bet those old people took it!” She sat down with her head hung over. “Why did I leave the keys in the ignition? Why oh why would I do something so stupid?”

“Hey,” Laura leaning down to hug her friend “don’t beat yourself up. I’m glad you came to save me.”

“What do we do now?” Hillary asked.

Laura smiled deviously. “Not that it pertains to leaving the town, but I have an idea. Stay here at the top and wait for Ken.”

Spark of the Dead (Part 10)

Fish knew right away who was out there.

He grabbed the radio from Officer Perry and yelled into it, “Frick’n drive! Don’t give him a chance to attack!”

The trio of Laura, Ken, and Hillary walked at a quick pace avoiding the windows as they slinked from house to house.

Ken and the two girls traveled for two blocks before stopping against the back porch of an abandoned house.

Back over where they came from Magnis came bursting through the front door of the house he fell down into. For a short time he looked for them each way down the road before taking off the wrong direction. From watching him they noticed that he was now limping.

Spark of the Dead (Part 9)

Fish jogged into town and saw the lights of what was a police station right at the end of the street.

I couldn’t be any luckier he thought. He ran the rest of the way down the block knowing that now was no time to slow down.

He burst into the police station making his presence known.

“Hey, wha’cha problem buddy?” The question came from an older male police officer that was looking like he was pretty relaxed prior to Fish entering the station.

Fish stood still doing the exact thing that he knew he would, forgetting what he was going to say. “Um… I…”

“You’re either the dumbest drunk ever or the smartest,” a woman officer said from the other side of the room. “Are you looking for a nice cell to sober up in?”

“What? No, my friends are in trouble, I need help right away.”

The male officer got up out of his chair and started walking over to Fish slowly with his hands rested on his belt. “We get it son, your friend Captain Morgan and Jim Beam? Don’t worry, we’ll help alright. Just wait right over here in this room.”

Spark of the Dead (Part 8)

Ken pulled himself up from the ground and saw that Magnis fighting Laura. The poor girl wasn’t attacking back and he didn’t know how long her shield would last taking the beating that Magnis was capable of giving.

He couldn’t believe that he had even found them. It was the most unlikely of scenarios; yet somehow it happened.

Ken ran at Magnis yelling his battle cry to distract him from Laura.

It worked and Magnis turned around in time to meet Ken’s fist across his jaw knocking him flat onto the asphalt.

Magnis recovered quickly and tried to sweep Ken’s legs out from under him. Ken expected it and jumped just in time to avoid it. As soon as he was back on the ground he kicked hard and hit Magnis in the side of the head. Ken’s kick was hard enough to cause Magnis to somersault backwards against an abandoned vehicle.

“The Ken will keep him busy. Make it back to the SUV and get out of here with Hillary.”

“No, I won’t leave you,” she said loudly.

“Laura watch out!” Ken yelled at the site of Magnis picking up the car he landed against.

Spark of the Dead (Part 7)

Higher pitched than the first time a squeal from one of many long purple worms slithers its way through the rubble.

Hillary teleported back inside the SUV and ducked down while her sister yelled demanding to know what was going on. Doing what she did may have been looked on as cowardly, but she was incapable of being able to do anything against them while they were still worms. She knew that she did the smart thing.

One of the worms jumped and flew through the air at the old people. It hit one of the men in the side of the head. While the man flailed on the ground screaming it wriggled its way into their skull.

One of the others quickly shot in the direction of the worms. Purple splatters of their wormy flesh flew through the air. Another fired their gun having the same result against a handful of the worms.

Joe stood ready to fire his remaining shot knowing he would have to reload right after.

Laura sent a wide wave of force forward and blasted a large amount of the fiery debris and worms away from them.

One of them had made it past Laura and went right for Ken. His electrified shield stopped it upon making contact with him. It squealed on the ground before it passed out next to the vehicle.

Ken’s foot stomped down hard on it splashing it’s insides against the door of the SUV.

Everyone stayed ready to attack again if there were any worms left.

Laura’s telekinetic blast had both cleared the way for their vehicle and probably crushed the worms that were still in it.

Fire crackling was the only sound while both groups stood waiting.

Silence was broken from the man who had the worm invade his body getting up. In a quick motion he reached down for the gun he dropped when he was still in control of his body.

Joe fired his shotgun into the face of what was no longer his friend but a monster. It dropped to the ground both the host and parasite being instantly dead.

The woman leaned down to the body and wept softly against their chest.

Joe ejected the empty shells from his gun and reloaded. “Perhaps I was wrong to judge you folks… I would say that an apology is in order and a thank you.”

Laura thought for a moment. “Apology accepted if you point us to the nearest hospital or somewhere we can find a first aid kit, anything to help our friend.”

Spark of the Dead (Part 6)

Laura tries to keep focused on the road but can’t drift her thoughts from what had just happened to Magnis and what she had to do to him.

She continued to struggle with this until she stopped the vehicle and threw her head onto the steering wheel crying loudly.

“Laura we can’t stop now,” Ken said from the backseat.

Through sobs she said, “I know. I just need a moment.”

Hillary patted her on the shoulder. “Here hun, let me drive.”

“Ok,” Laura said sniffing softly as she took her head off the wheel.

The two girls traded places quickly and Hillary started driving as soon as she clicked her seatbelt in place.

No one was saying anything as they drove. Every once in a while Laura or Ginger would let out a sob each from their own pains, mental or physical.

“Hey look, there are some lights up ahead, coming out of the woods,” Hillary said loudly. “Let’s hope there is help for Ginger.”

Spark of the Dead (Part 5)

About Two Hours Earlier…

Yang teleported all the way into the room he was staying in.

He sat down on his bed and felt his head.

I should have known better than to mix unknown chemicals with a cocktail of my own, he thought. If what Magnis says is true, than our compounds together have me overdosed on vitamins.

Yang itched his arm rapidly. “Dang bug bites,” he mutters. He pulled his sleeve up to scratch at it better and had to sit down from what he saw.

One of his mosquito bites had started swelling up at the same spot he had injected himself with Magnis’ needle. It was about a quarter in size and the skin was raised up only somewhat.

“What is happening to me?” he said stunned.

Spark of the Dead (Part 4)

The remaining six of them ran out of the cabin into the open. Being in the frantic state they were all in, they didn’t know where they were running to, only that they were getting the hell out of that cabin.

Magnis stupidly turned around to see if the worms were after them. As soon as a false sense of security was in his head one of the worms shot through the air and started digging its way into his head through his ear.

He yelled and flopped down on the ground. He gripped onto its long body the spines cut and slashed his hands as he tried in vain to pull it out of his head.

Laura ran over to him and put her shield up hoping that if another was near it would stop it. As she reached Magnis’ body she felt one crash into the side of her head. The shield kept it out of her for now.

Magnis screeched in pain as the tail end of the worm crept the rest of the way into his head.

“Magnis! Magnis!” Laura screamed at him.